Why being human might be the ultimate form of leadership
A late afternoon of what now seems several lives ago, I found myself moderating a technical meeting with the team members I was supposed to be leading. I have been put in charge of the flagship project of the company I used to work for, at an age so early I didn’t know yet the world wasn’t flat. I was supposed to lead a discussion to select one of two development frameworks to use on the project, having no form of authority over a group of engineers that were more experienced, accomplished, and smarter than me. The memory is blurry now, but searching for the story brings back all the raw emotions. After the dust settled, and I’ve made the decision, I left the office upset, disappointed at myself, and with a deep feeling of inadequacy. What just happened?
First and foremost, I was still in that stage of your career where you think you are put in charge because you are better than those around you. How wrong we can be! Second, we had two very senior engineers behind each of the home-brew frameworks, and I didn’t have the skill nor the seniority to moderate a heated discussion that (now I know) had nothing to do with technology. Last, but not least, the topic at hand: for me, this was the chance to prove I was worthy of my role. It wasn’t pretty: every time I’d make a statement, I would simply not back out of it. I would crush anyone that would challenge me in the most dreadful way. I was loud and aggressive. What a sight! For the casual observer, I was dominant, assertive. What was going on inside me was completely different…
Read More